Why You Should Try Virtual Dating

I was asked to do a news segment for ABC 7 SF about dating during Corona and we had a long chat about virtual dating. In normal circumstances, I would not recommend building a strong connection over the phone first because it can lead to disappointment later when you meet in real life but we aren’t given any other options at this time. We don’t know how long this quarantine will last or how it will affect the world once it’s over so we shouldn’t stop making connections with people online.

This is a time people feel scared, anxious and isolated. We need moments that make us smile and remind us that there are things we have to look forward to. Like dating! Dating will always be something we think about and will never go away. It’s part of the human experience to want to mate and procreate. That will never change.

There has been an increase of dating app activity since the spread of Corona and more profiles are being created every day. That tells us something very important. People are yearning for connection. Now that we can’t make as many excuses as to why we can’t prioritize our personal lives, we are freeing up our time to see who’s out there. Just because we can’t meet at a bar for a drink doesn’t mean we can’t have a virtual date and see if there is a connection. Three couples from Love is Blind are still together! Clearly connections can be made from talking and learning about one another before introducing the physical element.

When you make a connection online, setup a time to have a virtual date, whether it be on FaceTime, Google Hangouts, Skype, etc. Get dressed up as you normally would for a date. Take time to look your best and pour yourself a beverage of your choice. We are living through a time that is making us stop and think what’s most important to us. Is it work? Maybe not. Is there a side passion project you’ve been wanting to start but haven’t come around to yet? Tell your date all of the things you want to accomplish while you have this free time. I guarantee that you will connect with this person on a much deeper level than if you were sitting across each other at a wine bar chatting about surface level topics.

I know it may seem like it’s not an ideal time to date right now but I actually think you could truly make a strong connection with someone by getting to know them from a mental and emotional level first. We often mistake a physical connection as love when it’s really just infatuation. Women especially tend to bond with men after sex because of the oxytocin that is released in our brains. It physically makes us feel addicted to this person! We are now given this unique opportunity to actually get to know someone without all of the hormones in our brain getting in the way. You can ask important questions about their values and goals and see if they match to your own.

I wouldn’t normally recommend going to internet stranger’s apartments but after chatting for a bit and you feel strongly that you want to meet them in real life, maybe meet somewhere neutral like a park and see if the physical chemistry is there as well, depending if your city permits it. We don’t have a lot of options right now but do whatever you feel comfortable with. Always start with the virtual dates if you’ve never met this person before and take it from there. This quarantine won’t last forever, it’s just our new normal for now.

Happy dating :)

xo,

AM