The Best Matchmaking Candidates

I often get asked who is a good candidate for matchmaking. Some people think they might be too picky while others have no idea who they are looking for. There are people who haven’t dated in a while and those who probably date a little too much. But none of these people will do poorly working with a matchmaker.

I’ve worked with several different matchmaking companies and I didn’t typically get much say on who I would like to work with. Usually, it was fine and I’ve met so many interesting, lovely people that I’m still in contact with today but every once in a while I would be sent a client that I knew would not be a good candidate for matchmaking. Years of experience have proven time and again the personality traits of people that don’t do well in not only matchmaking but in finding and maintaining love any way they come across it.

In previous blog posts, I’ve written about something I call “The Happy Dog Principle”. When a dog walks into a room with its tail wagging and a big smile, you instantly feel joy and comfort. Alternatively, when the dog comes in snarling and its tail tucked in you feel a bit scared and want to get as far away from the dog as possible. The same is true for humans. The energy you bring to those around you is so important in how others perceive you. If you enter situations with a negative, entitled, or even rude energy, absolutely no one will tolerate that behavior - certainly not a possible love connection!

I’ve had clients in the past that were so unpleasant to work with it made me wonder how they came across on dates. Luckily for me, I request date feedback from every single first date I put a client on. I ask their dates how the experience was for them and any improvements my client can make. You can imagine the feedback was never good… not with these clients. Every once in a while I’ll check out these past clients on social media to see how they’re doing and every single one of them is still single.

It can be extremely discouraging and disappointing to go on countless dates with people that don’t often lead to a second and hardly ever a third but it’s your job to always put your best foot forward. If you’re in a funk and it’s coming across on your dates, take a break! It’s better to sort yourself out first before possibly ruining a date with someone who could be perfect for you. The person on the other side of the table doesn’t owe us anything. They took precious time from their day to meet you as well. Even if you don’t feel a connection with them, show them kindness and respect. They might have a friend or cousin for you to meet! I’ve heard many stories from people that were introduced to their spouses by a past date they made friends with.

As we’re in the busy season for love - it’s getting freezing outside after all - this is the time to make the effort to set up dates and go into them with the best possible attitude you can have. Be that happy dog! Don’t bring your past baggage or drama into a fresh date with someone who could be a great match for you. We all have our stuff - me included - but that doesn’t give you the right to make anyone else feel uncomfortable or disrespected. If you feel like you’ve been doing the same things over and over again without getting any results then it might be time to mix it up. If the apps aren’t working for you and you’re feeling negative about them, pause them for a while! The apps will always be there. Ask a friend to set you up or join matchmaking databases for free. Many of them let you create a profile for free and will only contact you when there is a possible match with one of their clients. Grab a friend and go to a sports bar on a Sunday.

Make the effort but make sure it’s with your tail wagging :)